Every expat move abroad is a beginning and an ending all at once.

We gain new many experiences, different perspectives, and become open to more opportunities, but we also quietly say goodbye to who we were before.

It’s THIS unseen in-between space that so many expat women find themselves trying to navigate.

You might have been part of the decision to move abroad — or maybe it wasn’t really your choice at all.

Perhaps it was your partner’s career opportunity, a family decision of what was best for the majority, or a move that simply made financial sense at the time. On paper, it all looked exciting: the chance to experience a new culture, travel more, and start a fresh chapter.

But now that you’re here — living the life you thought you wanted — there’s this unexpected wave of sadness.

A heaviness. A quiet feeling of loss that’s hard to explain.

No one really talks about this side of expat life.

There’s often a duality of emotions that comes with moving abroad. Part of you seeks new adventure, while another part aches for the creature comforts of home.

Excitement and emptiness can exist side by side. You look around at your new surroundings and wonder:

“Why do I feel so sad right now — when this was supposed to be an amazing experience?”

If that sounds familiar, there is a hidden grief that comes with moving abroad that many expats experience — but few truly understand.

In this post, we’ll unpack why losing your old life hurts so much, and share three powerful strategies to help you process that grief and start embracing your new life moving forward.

Part 1: Acknowledge The Grief You Feel

When you step onto that plane for the first time (or the second or third!), you’re not just leaving behind a country — you’re leaving behind a version of yourself.

There is a sense of grief that comes with leaving.

Grief for putting thousands of miles (and a shitty time difference) between you and ALL the people you love.

Grief for the career or business that once gave you purpose and a sense of identity.

Grief for leaving behind the familiar, to start over in the unknown.

This Is Why Expat Life Can Feel So Heavy — Even When You’re Grateful for the Experience.

Because you’ve lost more than just a home address. You’ve also lost:

• The confident, grounded version who knew where everything was
• The social circles that made you feel seen and supported
• The job or role that gave you stability and financial independance
• The small things that felt like home — your favorite café, the streets you knew by heart, the language you didn’t have to think twice about

When all of that disappears overnight, it’s a shock to the system.

There will be a period of mourning your old life. Not every day will be sunshine and rainbows. And that is OK.

In a way you’ve lost your connection to the life you’ve lived up until this point. That’s a huge change and transition.

Yet because we chose this life or were part of the decision to become expats, another emotion often creeps in too… guilt.

“I should be grateful to be here”
“Other people dream of living abroad and doing this”
“I shouldn’t be sad, look how lucky I am”

But please know the guilt doesn’t make the grief go away. It just pushes it deeper. And you’re not weak or ungrateful for grieving your old life… you’re human. These are very common feelings for expats.

So, the first step to moving forward is simple but powerful:

👉 Allow yourself to acknowledge the grief.

Give yourself permission to grieve. Feel your emotions. Acknowledge it.

Take a quiet moment and write two lists:

1) Everything you miss about your old life — people, places, feelings, routines

2) Everything you’re beginning to appreciate about your new life.

This exercise helps you hold space for both those feelings of loss and also possibility. It’s not about forcing positivity — it’s about allowing your emotions to coexist.

Part 2: Understand the Emotional Layers of Change

At first, when you arrive your time is focused on practical things: finding housing, adjusting to new transport, helping your kids settle. The immediate changes and decisions that need to be made to start your life in a new country.

But once the busy logistics settle, there’s likely a quiet unraveling where you start to wonder:

• Who am I in this new place?
• How do I fit in here?
• What do I want my life to look like now?

It’s not just about adapting to a new culture and life — it’s about rediscovering yourself in a completely new context.

That’s a profound kind of growth… but many women can also find this disorienting.

The key to navigating this stage is to remember:

You are here now, but maybe not forever.
You miss your old life, but you will create new meaning here too.

Instead of resisting the emotions, let them guide you.
Ask yourself what parts of your old life mattered most — and find ways to bring elements of that into your present life.

Maybe it’s your morning coffee ritual.
Maybe it’s your fitness routine or creative outlet.
Maybe it’s staying connected to the people who remind you who you are. This isn’t about replacing your old life — it’s about weaving it into your new one.

👉 Give yourself grace TO transition, you don’t have to have it all figured out by week 4, 8 or 12 or 24!

Release the pressure. And remember that authentic friendships, impactful connections and a new life takes time to build!

Part 3: Redefine What Matters to You Now

Change feels uncomfortable at times, but one of the gifts of expat life is the chance to reevaluate what truly matters.

Ask yourself:

• What brought me joy before?
• What do I want to prioritize now?
• What kind of life do I want to build here?

This is your opportunity to design a life that reflects who you are today — not just who you were before you moved.

Maybe before you were so busy and focused on work you had little time to focus on your health. Perhaps you now have time to fulfill another area of you like – finding a new yoga studio, joining an expat book club, or starting a new hobby that grounds you.

You’re not starting from scratch — you’re just expanding your story in a new place!

Grief & Growth Can Co-Exist

Be gentle with yourself.
Allow the grief to exist without judgment.
And trust that, in time, the sadness softens — making space for new experiences, new friendships, and a renewed sense of self.

Because one day, you’ll look around your new world and realize…
You didn’t lose yourself. You took the best parts and simply evolved.

-Janel Briggs

Join the Conversation:

Have you felt this hidden grief after moving abroad?
Share your story in the comments below — your experience might be exactly what another woman needs to hear today!