We often move abroad chasing career growth or financial opportunities, not realizing how isolating it can feel when you’re thousands of miles from home, away from your family, friends, and familiar support networks.
Suddenly, you’re not just building a new life… you’re also trying to build new friendships, perhaps for the first time in years.
You find yourself in a place where you don’t know anyone, navigating cultural differences, and learning how to create a support system from scratch.
But here’s the good news: Every expat faces this exactly same challenge!
And the key to thriving (not just surviving) in your new home is to proactively build meaningful connections from the very beginning.
There’s a saying: “Your network is your net worth”
And while this is often used in business, it applies just as much to life abroad. The people you surround yourself with can make or break your expat experience. The friendships you form will provide support, opportunities, and a much needed sense of belonging.
So how do you go from being the “new person” to having a thriving social circle? Let’s break it down.
How to Meet New People in Your 30’s, 40’s & Beyond
Making friends as an adult in your 30s, 40s, and beyond can feel awkward at first. My husband and I laugh and say it’s that awkward feeling of going on a million first dates to ‘find a friend’.
Often, true friendships now are built through shared experiences. Expats are drawn to eachother for this reason, we all understand what its like to live so far from home and have to rebuild our lives. (We also usually love travel and new adventures or experiences!)
My biggest advice: You’ve got to put yourself out there soon after you arrive, even when it feels uncomfortable.
I’ve met expat’s who arrived in a new country and did not make the effort to meet people as they had young children and felt it was too hard to get involved in groups or meet people without family support. Next thing you know they are 5 or 7 YEARS(!) down the track living in that country, their kids are now at school and they have ZERO friends or social connections and realize what a lonely void they are living in.
Another expat told me that when she arrived her job took over her life. She was so busy working she had little time for a social life and weekends were spent recouperating from the work week. Two years later she found herself completely burnout, feeling depressed and anxious and wanting to move home because she hadn’t built “the life abroad” she had imagined!
Don’t delay, start now!
Remember, most people are open to making new friends, especially fellow expats and locals who enjoy meeting international people. Here are some practical ways to expand your social circle:
1. Leverage Social Media
Instagram is one of my go-to platforms for meeting new people as you can use it to find local events and places of interest to you.
Search “[Your City] events” or “[Your City] wellness events” to find meetups, workshops, and gatherings.
Look for local cafés, workout classes, co-working spaces, and social clubs. I always comment on the venue’s event post and look for other women in the comments who might be going there too.
These are great places to meet people naturally!
This approach has helped me meet some of my closest friends, and the best part is that you already have an idea of their personality and interests before meeting.
2. Join Facebook Groups & Community Forums
Facebook groups are a goldmine for expats looking to connect. Search for groups like:
- “[Your City] Expats”
- “Women Expats in [Your City]”
- Expat Mums/Moms in [Your City]
- [Your Nationality] expats in [Your New Country/City}
- “Networking Events in [Your City]”
Post an introduction about yourself and say you’re looking to meet new people. You’ll be surprised how many people respond!
“Hey! I just moved here from [X Country] and I love connecting with like-minded women. Want to grab a coffee sometime?”
I now live in a small town near Tampa, Florida, USA – its as far away from my home in Australia as you can get! I had zero faith that I would find any Australian’s here. After a year here, I hadn’t met a single Australian int he wild. One day after feeling extremely homesick I thought I would try posting in an “Aussies in Florida” Facebook group I’d found. I did a quick “intro” and asked whether any Aussie’s lived near me and would like to meet for coffee?? I kid you not, I had a comment thread a mile long and within a month we’d organized our first meet! 12 rsvp’d and 9 WOMEN turned up!! A few travelled over an hour to meet us. Others said they’d living here for 7, 9, even 12 years and had never met each other or thought to start a group! We now meet bi-monthly and have women drive up to 3 hours to join us. It was the best 30 second leap of faith I’ve ever taken.
3. Use Apps Like Meetup & Internations
- Meetup: This app helps you find local groups and events based on your interests. Whether you’re into morning walks, hiking, yoga, dinner and drinks, business networking, or book clubs – there’s literally something for everyone!
- Internations: This is a global community specifically for expats. They host networking events, social gatherings, and even travel excursions in person and online. There is approx $100 USD annaul membership fee.
Other apps like Bumble BFF and Friender are designed to help people make platonic connections in new cities. And newer apps like TimeLeft organize small group (6) weekly dinneers in specific cities and match you with like minded people.
4. Say ‘Yes’ to Invitations!
My motto for the first year is “just say yes”. Even if its an acitivity or someting you wouldn’t normally do! Because you never know who you will meet there, or what new experiences might surprise you. Sometimes the best friendships (and memories) are found in the most unexpected places.
It’s easy to turn down invites when you’re feeling tired or unsure, but the best way to integrate into a new social circle is to show up.
Even if you don’t know anyone at first, being present will naturally lead to more connections.
Trying new things as a new expat is going to help you in a few ways:
- Keeping busy helps keep the loneliness at bay
- It’s one of the best ways to build confidence and get more comfortable with putting yourself ‘out there’
- Feeling proactive in building new connections will fast track your sense of belonging
In our first year in the USA, I realized meeting people here would be a lot harder than in Singapore. Due to the fact that a) People in their mid-forties are well estabilished and have very busy lives b) Majority of women work full time c) When your kids are older there are less ‘play dates’ and parties you attend. So, I set myself a goal to join a new activity, group. fitness class, or volunteer at least twice a month to give myself opportunities to meet people. Every time I did, I met someone new who made this foreign place feel less lonely. I joined a few women’s walking groups and even created small side groups for coffee catch-ups. I volunteered at school events, which led to an invite to not one, but two book clubs! I started attending yoga and sound bath workshops, and signed up for small group training twice a week – that way, I knew I’d be around like-minded women. Each “yes” opened a new door and slowly, those doors led to real friendships and building a community.
5. Be the Connector
Instead of waiting (and waiting!) for invitations, why not start hosting your own gatherings!
- Invite a small group to meet you for coffee or a casual wine night
- Plan a morning walk, group workout class or yoga session
- Organize tickets to the movies, an art exhibition or the theatre
Pop a post up in a local/expat Facebook group you’ve been active in or your child’s grade level WhatsApp group and ask the question – you never know who else is also looking for new connection.
Be the one who starts a small messenger or whatsapp group to keep everyone connected.
It might feel a little out of your comfort zone at first, but when you bring people together, you naturally strengthen your relationships and expand your network. You could even encourage everyone to invite a friend to help the group grow organically.
Remember, Real Friendships Take Time To Build
Making friends as an expat in a new country takes time, effort, and a little courage. Give it the time and energy it deserves, show up consistently as your authentic self and you’ll find your people!
So, what’s one thing you can do this week to put yourself out there? Send a message, say yes to an invite, or join a local group – you never know where your next friendship will come from!
-Janel Briggs
Expat Women's Collective 
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